Do you remember your significant other dropping to one knee and asking for your hand in marriage? Sure, you do – or at least a version of it. (Mine involved no knee.) For most people, it is on the list of the “Most Important Days of Your Life”, and it is probably near the top. We (women) dream of this day as much as the wedding day. 

I feel sad for the men or the proposers. Movies and books have created a standard rarely achieved by a mere mortal. After all, the mere mortals have usually only one take in the real world –no drafts or multiple takes to perfect the wording, emoting and lighting. But sometimes even the multiple drafts get it wrong. 

I present to you the cringiest marriage proposals: 

1. Romeo and Juliet 

Does Romeo have some swoon-worthy lines? Absolutely. A little to swoon-worthy. What 16 year old boy has lines like that? A player! Not someone you would be bringing home to mom. 

But we must remember the circumstances behind this proposal…Romeo is a 16 year Montague, who was minutes earlier crying over another girl (Rosalind who rejected him). Juliet is only 13 years old and a Capulet. She may only be marrying him because mom and dad have announced that they have chosen someone for her already. 

I know for some it has been a while, but this is like some real Hatfield and McCoy stuff. They hate each other! So what better way to set this marriage on a solid foundation by get married in secret and never telling your parents about it. Speeding through the plot…One gets banished for killing the other’s cousin, leaving the other to seek the council of a drug-pushing priest. It is all just chaos until the the main characters draw their last breaths.

And because it has disaster written all over it…it is cringy. 

2. New Moon/Eclipse of the Twilight Series

What makes this cringy? Again, it is the sacrifice. Even though, Edward argues against Bella Swan joining the dead to be with her vampire lover, it is clear this is the sacrifice that must be made in the long run. ”She must change to be loved by this man” is an abusive trope, but teens to middle aged women wore their “Team Edward” shirts with pride. 

3. Outlander

What makes this cringy? At the time Claire and Jamie marry, I don’t believe either’s hearts were really in it. Claire is very much still in love with her husband Frank from her own time. Jamie was smart enough to know this about Claire, and I believe he knew he had a healthy lust for her — not love. Not mention the fact that Claire need to marry someone to avoid Black Jack Randall and the British Army. No one was in love, but marry they did, giving us nine tomes to read.  

To be completely transparent, I loved all of these books. I have read Romeo and Juliet multiple times, I wore a Team Jacob shirt to the Twilight movies, and I love Outlander probably more than one should.

Do you have cringy proposals to share?